Archer: *yawns* Time to raid today, maybe today i can go up to a wall quicker this time so i can destroy it finally!
Cut to: kitchen with barbarian sitting at the table reading the Clash of Clans Gazette.
Archer: Good morning Barbarian! What base should we raid today?
Barbarian: Well archer, we are in Crystal I league and we should find a nice looted base because poor Barbarian King has been hibernating for 7 days because he was getting upgraded. He just stopped at 4 AM this morning. He hasn't seen good looted bases in 1 week, poor fella!
Archer: Good idea!
Barbarian: Remember archer this is wicked important, DO NOT shoot at walls this raid! That is the wall breaker's job. Last raid we only got 61% and we could've gotten the Town Hall if you weren't shooting at that wall.
Cut to: army camps getting ready to raid.
Goblin: Well, the plan was to find a nice looted base, and that is my job is to get all of the money! So that is why I am coming along.
Wizard: Sorry to burst your bubble, goblin but we aren't taking you because no offense but you are really weak and you made us lose 17 raids and we don't want to lose again, Yesterday's raid we won and you weren't with us.
Goblin: I understand i was just trying to help.
Archer Queen: Ok, troops! We are going to 3 star this raid, Archer do not screw this raid up this time.
Archer: WELL ARCHER QUEEN! YOU ALWAYS SCREW US UP! YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOOTS AT WALLS WHEN THERE ARE DEFENSES SHOOTING AT YOU IN YOUR REACH! AND YOU USE YOUR ABILITY ONCE YOU FIRST GET ONTO THE BATTLE GROUNDS, YOU SCREW UP WAY MORE THAN I DO. IF YOU EXCUSE ME "SCREWING UP" ISN'T NECESSARY AT THIS POINT SINCE YOU HAVE A LOT OF FLAWS IN YOUR ATTACKING STYLE.
Archer Queen: Whatever!
Cut to: Base with 440k loot each including 4k dark elixir. Base name: BobTheClasher
Barbarian King: finally my hibernation is over! I can finally help you guys win this raid!
Archer Queen: We won without you yesterday.
Archer Queen: Archers!! You go in first! There is 5 of you! This is to lure the clan castle troops. Archer #1 do not do anything stupid.
Archer #1: Ok, i am on the battle grounds and I see giants, witches, archers, barbarians, and some wizards.
Archer Queen: Fine i am coming! Barbarian King you come too, let's destroy these guys.
Cut to: Everyone is on the battle ground now and Archer #1 is costing them the raid it looks like! They didn't even reach 35% and Archer #1 perishes. Archer Queen once again used her ability too early and she perishes as well. Barbarian King down to 4% and 3 seconds later he is perished as well. Everyone perishes at 33% thanks to Archer #1 when she should of been guarding the other troops as a distraction to the defenses.
Archer Queen: ARE YOU HAPPY ARCHER #1?!? YOU MADE US LOSE 27 TROPHIES BECAUSE OF YOUR ARROGANCE! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN GUARDING EVERYONE ELSE SO WE COULD'VE WENT INSIDE THE BASE AND DESTROYED THE DEFENSES ON THE 2ND LAYER AND POSSIBLY THE TOWN HALL AND I WOULD HAVE BEEN ALIVE AND THE BARBARIAN KING WOULD'VE STILL HAD FULL HEALTH AND WE COULD'VE PROBABLY GOTTEN THE 50% WHICH WOULD'VE MADE A 2 STAR! IT IS ALL OF YOUR FAULT ARCHER #1 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY WE BOTHER BRINGING YOU ALONG TO THESE RAIDS. NEXT RAID IS TONIGHT AND YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT COMING!
Archer #1: Oh come on! Destroying a wall would've made me go inside the 2nd layer and would've hit the Town Hall!
Archer Queen: SEE YOU ARE STUPID ONE HIT TO THE TOWN HALL WOULDN'T COMPLETELY DESTROY IT YOU IDIOT! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU ARE AN ARCHER! YOU SHOULD'VE REALIZED 1 HIT TO SOMETHING DOESN'T OFFICIALLY DESTROYS IT WHEN YOU WERE 1 YEARS OLD. I WAS 3 MONTHS OLD WHEN I LEARNED HOW TO RAID.
This ends Chapter 1